Editorial: Buhari Yesterday, Today And 2020

”At last”

”What is that?”

”Say Baba finally behaving like a Daddy”

”Come on, he doesn’t know of all these herdsmen/farmers clashes before now”

”How? Busy with the nation’s affair?”

”Of course NO. He was busy reading the blame game textbook.”

”Blame game textbook?”

”Yes! Our presidents always have a favourite textbook they read. Obasanjo’s favourite was book of power – reason he was allegedly seeking a third term; Jonathan favourite was book of corruption – the richest government in our democracy history. Money was well distributed amidst officials. And Say Baba fell in love with the book of blame game.”

“You will know will know the kind of books they read by observing the actions of people that surround them.”

”Does that mean Jonathan never used power during his time in office and Buhari so far has not used either/both power and corruption textbook”

”To some extent. The president leaving office are always generous enough to leave their favourite book on the table for incoming presidents. I guess Jonathan was confused on which one to read when he assumed office overnight – Yar’adua’s 7 points agenda textbook or Obasanjo’s book of power. The gentleman from Otueke got confused and decided to shop for his personal textbook while occasionally reading either of his predecessors’ textbook.”

”And the new occupant?”

”Oh! His predecessors are not from his party, so he decided not to read any of them. Instead, he came in with a book he co-authored with others in his cabinet ‘Book of the blame game’. Like Jonathan, he also seldom take a look at his predecessors’ books but prefer not to act on them especially the boy from Bayelsa’s favourite book of corruption.”

”Does that mean there is no corruption again?”

”Saying that is fallacious. The book of corruption has been our nation’s bestseller before now. Only that Oga Jonah was lucky to have many people that love practical than theory around him. They did what the book said and should not be blamed. EFCC, beware.”

”Thank God baba Kastina has finally woken up from his slumber.”

”I don’t think so. He was only given leave from his slumbering bed, he should be resuming duty soon.”

”What do you mean?”

”Actually, those are not my words. They were said by the English University of Nigeria.”

”How can a University speak?”

”He doesn’t, he only spits his disdain.”

”Does that mean Say baba is now Say Daddy.”

”It depends. If you are comparing Buhari of yesterday to today, it is to some extent true.”

”Tell us how he was perceived in 2019 prior to election time.”

”He started exhibiting some daddy character. And considering the calibal of the majority that contested against him, it would have been best to refer him as “Say egbon” prior to the election.”

”You are making me confused. What is the difference between ‘Say Baba’, ‘Say Daddy’, and ‘Say Egbon’.”

”Hahahahaha, so you don’t know that Say baba is the old man Nigeria voted for and he never disappointed them, only that they are lamenting after the true meaning of Baba dawn on them.”

”Do you mean like a late August rain?”

”Baba is someone perceived to be aged with a lot of experiences but has been experiencing some memory loss being a grandpa.”

”But babas are not always agile to move up and down again now?”

”Absolutely, the reason Nigeria is currently ruled by cabals.”

”Cabals like?”

”You are too inquisitive for my likings. Can’t you decipher direct speech from reported? The first lady with a kitchen office said that the country is being ruled by cabals which is correct considering the reign being controlled by a baba.”

”How can the first lady be opposing the president? She should have just called his attention to this in the inner chamber.”

”The old man might forget the next morning. So, it is necessary to be documented in the newspapers. Even though he might not be chanced to read it immediately, at least he would consider it when thinking of 2019. Such move are for future use.”

”I have never seen a foreign president with his wife publicly expressing her discomfort with her husband (the president).”

”You mean you have never seen a foreign president who does not has control over his family. For saying that, congratulations you have just won yourself a million Naira – do you wish to work away or continue?”

”I think I will need to work away because this governmental stupidity worths more than that.”

”It is not stupidity my brother, they say charity begins at home. The evidence of baba’s chaos home is what we are seeing in our nation’s state. Just convince me otherwise, a man that cannot control his wife and even son that made the latter got himself in an accident, how do you expect him to effectively manage the nation – anyway he is baba – babas are all full of wonders.”

”Say Daddy for 2019 will be better since babas have failed us.”

”Yes it would have been better but we cannot have any Daddy in 2019. Our Say Baba is still very competitive. Do you see the Kano turnout during his visit? And our major problem is, youths are too busy changing Nigeria on social media when they should be getting their PVC to vote out any unwanted baba ruling where they are not wanted. And the ages of aspirants addressing themselves as youths so far is beyond being a youth, instead Daddy. With all of the Daddies that came on board to compete baba, baba being the oldest is nothing but the ‘egbon’ (oldest). 2019, was a game between the Daddies and Egbon – but egbon showed them some “ogbon” to prove he is indeed “egbon”

“You said that before the election,”

“Yes, and that is still the future we are heading to. #NotTooYoungToRun bill was passed and implemented but not meant to be effective now.”

“Not to be effective now?”

“Of course, look around and pin-point one youth in the political arena with the ambition of presidency”

“There are a handful thou, but can you say they are ready for the leadership role”

“Not to mention names, most of them are getting the ticket to promote their individual image”

“We are stucked. It is high time we all put on our thinking cap.”

“Even when you have a competent youth for the post, the one-congo of rice electorate will sabotage his/her ambition.”

“Nigeria will be better the day the electorates regain their voice.’

“You mean electorates are dumb?”

“If you say so. But what I mean is that they should indeed influence people their parties present as candidate.”

“If parties decide to present people you dislike, boycott the elections until they all regain their senses and nominate a more competent person.”

“Say Baba 2020, so far, what is your evaluation”

“It is just a rebrand of the first term”

“You mean it is the same thing?”

“Think of it like a game, the next level may appear different from the previous ― the story line will remain the same”

“What do you think Nigerians can do?”

“It is simple, just as stated earlier, the nation will only become liberated the day everyone boycotts election when all the presented candidates by political parties are not egg-headed”.

“Egg-headed?!”

“Not in the aspect of being smart enough to raise astroturfers; displaying a face while being another behind the door; embezzling the nation’s fund all in the name of national cake; or making decisions to favour a specific cabal. I rest my pen.”

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