Are there ATMs in Nigeria? Someone Asked, Nigerians Reply

Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa. It gained its independence in 1960 and has been regarded as the largest or biggest (anyone you prefer) economy in Africa.

Based on data released by the Nigerian Inter-bank Settle System (NIBSS), the total number of Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) in Nigeria as at September 2018 is 18,321.

Probably based on perceptions shaped by movies portraying Africans, people from other continents notably Europe has a ridiculous picture of the giant of Africa painted in their heads.

An anonymous user on Quora asked a ridiculous questions and Nigerians being who they are ― experts in savage response ― the person really got some rib-cracking responses.

Are there ATMs in Nigeria?

Like seriously? What do you take Nigeria for? A country regarded as the largest economy in Africa. Not forgetting many Nigerians purchase goods online from other countries and pay with their ATM cards.

As in, why would anyone ask this kind of question? Anyway, it is good to ask, and you will surely get answers. Trust Nigerians.

Responses from Quora Users:

Username: Unicus Company

What’s an ATM? An automated Teller Machine? In Nigeria? Hmmm, lets see? Maybe the question should be; Do you know how the internet works? Do you have a brain up there?

Now that we’ve established some correct thinking pattern, I can try to answer your question mate! So, Nigeria is a remote African Country (If you know of Africa as a continent). We are all hunters, living in some caves in the jungle. We don’t need money for anything, we just hunt and eat whatever fresh kill we can find, hence our population is the highest in African. Fresh kill gives fresh food and serious fertility.

We dont do money, nor ATM’S my friends. Those are for the people from your planet. We got no internet by the way also, just in case you are wondering!

And finally, I’m responding from one of the caves of ours. I just got an alert of a fresh kill, It’s late now, so I’ll have to go pick it up at the Drop off Center tomorrow. I was told i need a card to slot into a mysterious magic box that would produce my fresh kill. How cool is that right? Sent from heaven!

So mate, we don’t have an ATM, Naah, we don’t do ATM’S, we do hunting and fresh kills!

Nigerians on queue at ATM Gallery

Username: Babatunde Yusuf

ATMs?..

What are those?

OK, I Googled that word, as you could have done for this question.

So to the answer, we don’t have ATMs in Nigeria.

How then do we even bank? We actually swallow our money as a form of storage. In simple terms, we store money in our stomachs. When we need the money, we make ourselves vomit the exact amount we need. Even Wakanda does not come to that level of innovation.

It stands to reason that in Nigeria, the bigger your tummy, the richer you are.

I hope this helps.

Nigerians awaiting their turn to withdraw from ATM

Username: Folake Oyetosho

Yet another bizarre, outrageous, and unbelievably ignorant question about Nigeria.

Anonymity emboldens questions like this and gives minuscule powers to a racist behind their keyboard.

I thought not to dignify you with an appropriate answer because if I did, you will be lost on yourself.

However, let me help you engage your little mind. There are financial institutions in Nigeria that have for long, partnered with Mastercard and visa card.

Guess what they produced? A 3.5″ secure plastic card that enables you withdraw and deposit funds on ATM. Usable on POS platform too.

Undoubtedly, you don’t live on planet earth hence your parochial question.

You know the little thing behind your ears? Yes, your brain (and that is assuming you have any), use it!

Username: Victor Apeji

How can we have ATM in Nigeria when we don’t have banks.

Since we are hunters, famers and traders, we spend coweries and do trade by barter.

We are way behind civilisation. We still go about naked, no schools, hospitals talk less of modern technology/ICT.

In fact, I am writing this comment in a slate with chalk. Did I mention that we live on trees and the white guys that come to visit us live on trees too.

Back to your question, we don’t know what the acronym “ATM” stands for, I guess it means All The Meat (as hunters we like meat).

Next time if you want to ask questions like this, always remember that we are still in the medieval era.

Before I forget, I wrote this in Chinese thou. Lol.

Username: Deboh Adeaga-Brown

Going by your name you clearly have many means to have your questoon answered, its your country so simply call your parents or friends or find the phone contact of any bank, call the and ask directly, to satisfy your curiosity.

If by ATM you mean the Automated Teller Machine or hole in the wall that dispenses cash as a quick way to avoid walking into the banking hall then the obvious answer is Yes and for several years too, longer than can be remembered or known because as long as you have a debit card you must have where to use it.

Nigerians Will Not Kill Person With Laugh

Username: Leroy Iwu

ATMs? That’s very new what does it mean? Actually we have these small boxes we call “KOLO” where monies are kept. By “monies” I mean cowries. When ever you need money, you just shout the name of the gods of your deity and bam! Money (cowries) appear in your “KOLO”. You then break the “KOLO” and collect your cowrie.

It’s usually a reward from the gods of your deity for being loyal.

Nigeria’s highest denomination, N1000, dispensed by an Automated Teller Machine (ATM).

Username: Sochima Osigwe

Is Nigeria a name of a person, animal place or thing?

They live in the jungle and drag Banana with apes and monkeys. The last time I went there, their major means of exchange was trade by barter where raw meat dominated the items for trade.

They don’t know know what ATMs are. What are those sef?

Ode*, werey**.

Just asking questions for asking sake.

Nb. Next time ask if people or animals live there

Username: Waka Waka

No. We just wake up at 12am and begin to excrete money. All you have to do is to go and buy tatashe1 and atarodo2 in the market and wake up by 11:50pm and slice the tatashe and atarodo carefully then rub it on your butt hole, you would immediately start excreting money. You are welcome.

Glossary:
Ode*: Fool
Werey**: Insane person
Tatashe1: A variety of pepper in Nigeria
Atarodo2: A variety of pepper in Nigeria

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